driving is not my best work

flipped three cars
drunk as the bum wine
soaked villain
of some french
movie no one
cares about

got one dui
unrelated

so shes driving us
to see a movie
at a bar
an odd concept
that i had never
quite understood

we slide in
black leather seats
with children’s homework
lying on the floorboard

she goes to a bank
gets out
i watch her reflection
in the side mirror
against the window
against me
and just watch
noticing
the warning sign
that objects
may be closer than they
appear

you remind me of an animal cracker i once knew

the pink frosting kind

you were a giraffe
long neck, missing fore legs

i ate them

then i fondled you as i studied
your predicament

i licked the frosting
it was sweet

you became too moist to hold

so i devoured you

this is not a poem about pollution or global warming, its about you and i

there is more to giving up
than giving everything you’ve got

breaking the monotony
is not a cause for catastrophe

rather a reason for breathing

so inhale
exhale

cough

welcome to reality

where every moment
is a struggle to find
clean air

darling girl, that heart simply will not fit in there

she cuts you open like the surgeon
she failed out of school to be

looks inside to find the carcass of a butterfly
deep between you sternum and spine

but with hair aflame she seems so comforting

you just laugh as she laps at the blood
and stitches you up with dental floss

when you think back on the scars
made by more professional women

you realize there is nothing better than
the touch of an amateur

i believe in ghosts, as long as its in dreams

she sits up in her bed
awakened by the ice maker’s
loud cacophony
she forgot to pull the arm up again

I wake up and ask if shes alright
she said she was dreaming about
her grandmother
who had just died the day before

her grandmother told her
to leave this town its not right for her now
so she started packing a bag
I told her it was just a dream
it was her mind not her gran’s

but she kept shoving things in
so finally I slapped
she gasped

I said, she is dead, you are scared
she was all that was left
but im here
ill be here
so just go to sleep
and dream of the trees

she fell out on the floor
crying
I grabbed the blanket and covered
her and laid there for the rest of the night
praying no more ice would be made

bookend cliche for the modern romance

im not the man that you wish I was
im not the boy that you fell in love with

i only see myself as a killer

i only see you as my sister

so break your heartache
with this bottle of vodka

slam the phone down
with your false bravado

throw the pillows across the room

get up to grab them
you need the comfort

turn the lights off
so i cant see you crying

but i can hear you

i always hear you

you aren’t the woman that i believe in
you aren’t the girl that i fell in love with

never stop what you cannot control

i took a break from writing

lost my girlfriend
got a dui the same night

at the station before
putting me in the drunk tank
they asked if i wanted to injure myself
in any way

i said of course
but that’s never stopped me
from doing what has to be done
before now so its of no matter

they didn’t think it was of no matter
and gave me a cell to myself
and kept their eye on me
every hour or so for a few seconds

i reached in my watch pocket to find
they had forgotten to look in there

i keep razor blades loose in my pockets for safety
my fingers are bloody from jamming my hands in
not caring

i sat there thinking how stupid it was of them to not
find a fucking razorblade in a jailed man’s pocket
but i kept my mouth shut and bled until
my girlfriend bailed me out

she told me that’s the last favor i’d get
which was a lie since we fucked as soon as we got home

__________________

how to alienate your readers

start with a phrase they don’t understand
“the pseudoscience of parsimony makes me horny”

it doesn’t have to make sense
we aren’t in the business of making sense

put the words to the page and be proud
that is all it takes

next, take alliteration to a ridiculous level
“angels amble aimlessly along ample adequacy”

there
perfect
fuck making sense
this is poetry

remember Emily Dickenson
she loved this little number

the heart –
breaks a
million –
homes

dashes
hundreds of them

Oh, and do not forget
To capitalize
The first word
Of every line
That’s how the classics did it
Don’t you want to be famous
And taught in English classes

now all that’s
left
is to thro-
w in
some
arbitrary l-
ine breaks

the modern folks love that bullshit

our life will be a couple couplets, and you will wonder why

there is something to be said for solitude
but im afraid ive lost the words

so instead ill speak of finding you
until my presence burns
__________________

ive said “come over any time” too many times

i was speaking to myself again
the words were so damn merciless
i wish i could remember them now
it would be much better to tell you
than what im going to tell you
but “so it goes” i suppose

i got up and went to cook something
for myself and what ever dog
shows up tonight

i made chicken fricassee
my favorite
with a side of snap peas
and pilaf

i ate alone and i was content

there was something at the door
the dog for the night was here

a yellow lab of 2 foot high
about 50 pounds
wanted her dinner and ear rub

i had left enough
and she was content
her belly filled
and i rubber her ears

she flipped over
for me to rub her
stomach, i obliged

she gathered herself
and she left

so i shut the door
and cleaned up